I'm numb because a couple of nights ago my phone rang in the middle of the night, I ignored the call, it was the middle of the night. In the morning I saw that I recognized the number, it wasn't saved but I know my numbers....it was my brother whom I had not spoken to in over 3 years because we are a family with issues :/ My brother left me a frantic message that he was sorry for all our differences but he had just lost his son, Bubu Ricky Anthony Jr took his own life. Ricky Jr is a grown man who actually was in the military he was just about to go home next week. He was stationed in Pensacola the details are still not clear but none the less that's my nephew my blood that I have known him since he was a baby & now he is gone. I'm really confused about how this could happen I mean I know we are a family with issues but can we go that far to think that it cant get any better so lets end it? I'm really saddened & heart broken because my brothers world is falling apart. Even though I have my issues with my brother Rick my brother is a fantastic father, a little too tough love for me, but none the less he was involved with his kids since they were babies.
I don't know how to feel because there is so much going on around me. I'm trying to keep composure but every time I think of my brother losing his baby it hurts. Even though we are not a mushy type of family we are very sentimental & I know my brother is really hurting. I have been crying & wishing that its still a some big mistake but so far its not. So I'm planning my trip to learn then I have to go pay my respects to my brother in Fayetteville North Carolina.
But I'm still wishing this isn't true ;(
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